Some very thought-provoking questions, Suzy. This is the one I'm going to ponder today:
"Imagine you walked into a room, everyone was dressed the same, and you could not discuss what others did for a living, where they lived, or what they owned. How would you decide whether you liked them or not? Would it be about their humour, intelligence, creativity, or…"
Am all for decluttering (I do regular Big Tidy Ups and Marie Kondo's sparking joy criteria remains my favourite although I don't follow the full sequence (although it helped me the first time) and simplifying in all ways possible BUT, aesthetically, I just adore maximalism. Done well, I find it so soothing and cosy. But I think any time we ponder what matters to us, we get better at letting go of whatever doesn't serve us (and welcoming more wondrousness) x
My parents still laugh at my outrage aged 10 and being told I needed to focus focus focus (some university awareness program for kids with potential but unlikely to make it when we lived in America. Looking back, what a wonderful opportunity but it's no good being told to focus without being HELPED to focus.
The whole, On what you LOVE bit though... 700 years later, yay focus!!!!! X
Oh I am so similar. I have done Marie Kondo bits in the past - I still roll my tshirts!! But I also love colour and am comforted by things in my environment that make me feel cosy and soothed as you say. It's a lot about the process isn't it, and indeed letting go of what doesn't serve us, I love that. Reflecting on what we ascribe meaning to and why, and holding the things that really matter close, and letting others go x
Yes, in our last writing hour, I took a time to take a moment and take a helicopter view and to see if I was living my values - it's hard to see when you're in the middle of it and you haven't got anything to show for it yet (as in a book) but I am writing it, I'm creating, nothing may become of it - but I'm doing it. That's the most important thing.
It’s so hard, and I think we’re really harsh on ourselves in those reflections sometimes. Something will most definitely become of you writing the book - possibly in ways you may not expect, but oh it will ❤️
Oh wow brilliant questions. Yes I’d be up for that in 2024. This is why I subscribe to your work and follow you. You always hit the right spot. Thanks again Suzy
"Imagine you walked into a room, everyone was dressed the same, and you could not discuss what others did for a living, where they lived, or what they owned."
Considering the people have no reason to meetup, I am having a hard time to think -
So many great points here Suzy. The 'identity' question again! I spoke about this on a podcast earlier in the month - our culturally imbued narrative of being defined by our work rather than who we actually are. It's also a really interesting perspective on decluttering - in that decluttering in itself isn't the real purpose (although I do love a good declutter), it's the liberation that comes with detaching from ascribing so much meaning to the material. Much to reflect on!! x
It’s the attachment to our ‘roles’ that fascinated me... ‘ooh you’re a (fill in the gap) how exciting!!’ Or the reductive ‘I’m JUST a mother’ etc. What about, as you say, who we actually are ❤️
Very thought provoking Suzy! I'm a fan of decluttering for sure, because it leaves me surrounded with what I love, and that's where I get clearer on who I am, and what's important to me... minimalism itself isn't what's important, it's feeling like me. Could I do that in a crowded space? Not so easily. An empty space? Yes for sure. But in a space that feels just right? Oh so much easier!
What a valuable piece, Suzy. Thank you. It resonates hugely. Now about to enter year four of living nomadically, I'm increasing finding that life beyond "stuff" is all about the quality of experiences, relationships and community. I still have a storage unit filled with belongings at the other end of the country and thinking about it drains me of energy. Most days I feel I could set a match to the lot, but then I feel the tug of my future home, wherever it may be, asking me not to do that yet. I will ponder those valuable questions.
I have loved creating a home for myself with colour and comfort. Things/stuff aren’t bad but rather the meaning we assign to it/how it makes us feel. I use a lot of my stuff to have fun with creatively. 🎉
Our home sounds lovely, Suzy. You're absolutely right about the meaning we attach to things. I had two consecutive house moves that were traumatic and resulted in last minute packing horrors. For the first, due to a sociopathic buyer, I was given 22 hours between exchange and completion and never knew until the moment of exchange whether it would happen at all. The second was brought forward two weeks at the last minute, leaving me with no removals support, no storage unit and a day and a half to pack an over-stuffed 3-bed house. The story I created from those experiences was that "stuff" is problematic and life is easier without too much of it. I've worked on that and now it's more about wanting a leaner, simpler life. I know that when I find my little house by the sea, I'll love making it a home, though without the maximalist approach of old. I mainly want beautiful, useful things around me, with a touch of frolic here and there 😀
I love this because it takes minimalism to another level. And your prompts make me think of the book I'm reading now, which basically challenges the assumption that we had to end up with societies obsessed with wealth, power, consumption and status, as we have. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374157357/the Dawn of Everything It's an enthralling book.
Some very thought-provoking questions, Suzy. This is the one I'm going to ponder today:
"Imagine you walked into a room, everyone was dressed the same, and you could not discuss what others did for a living, where they lived, or what they owned. How would you decide whether you liked them or not? Would it be about their humour, intelligence, creativity, or…"
It’s a good question to figure out what you truly value in other people. 🎉
Am all for decluttering (I do regular Big Tidy Ups and Marie Kondo's sparking joy criteria remains my favourite although I don't follow the full sequence (although it helped me the first time) and simplifying in all ways possible BUT, aesthetically, I just adore maximalism. Done well, I find it so soothing and cosy. But I think any time we ponder what matters to us, we get better at letting go of whatever doesn't serve us (and welcoming more wondrousness) x
'Ultimately, it has to do with the benefits you’ll experience on the other side.' Love this x
Yes. For me, it’s about focus. Focus on what you love and let the rest fall away.
Yes!!!!!!
OMG. You've helped me reframe the f word!!!!!
My parents still laugh at my outrage aged 10 and being told I needed to focus focus focus (some university awareness program for kids with potential but unlikely to make it when we lived in America. Looking back, what a wonderful opportunity but it's no good being told to focus without being HELPED to focus.
The whole, On what you LOVE bit though... 700 years later, yay focus!!!!! X
Yes!!
Yes it’s simply about letting go if what really matters to us.
Oh I am so similar. I have done Marie Kondo bits in the past - I still roll my tshirts!! But I also love colour and am comforted by things in my environment that make me feel cosy and soothed as you say. It's a lot about the process isn't it, and indeed letting go of what doesn't serve us, I love that. Reflecting on what we ascribe meaning to and why, and holding the things that really matter close, and letting others go x
Yes, in our last writing hour, I took a time to take a moment and take a helicopter view and to see if I was living my values - it's hard to see when you're in the middle of it and you haven't got anything to show for it yet (as in a book) but I am writing it, I'm creating, nothing may become of it - but I'm doing it. That's the most important thing.
It’s so hard, and I think we’re really harsh on ourselves in those reflections sometimes. Something will most definitely become of you writing the book - possibly in ways you may not expect, but oh it will ❤️
Brilliant activity, thank you so much x
Oh wow brilliant questions. Yes I’d be up for that in 2024. This is why I subscribe to your work and follow you. You always hit the right spot. Thanks again Suzy
Ok, great. Let’s do it! 💕
"Imagine you walked into a room, everyone was dressed the same, and you could not discuss what others did for a living, where they lived, or what they owned."
Considering the people have no reason to meetup, I am having a hard time to think -
What would I talk about?
What questions would you ask to start the conversation?
May be I would start with -
What brings you here?
But, to be honest it took me some time to think what would I be asking.
We are hard wired to ask the where & what to build conversations. It's strange.
Or what questions you might ask?
So many great points here Suzy. The 'identity' question again! I spoke about this on a podcast earlier in the month - our culturally imbued narrative of being defined by our work rather than who we actually are. It's also a really interesting perspective on decluttering - in that decluttering in itself isn't the real purpose (although I do love a good declutter), it's the liberation that comes with detaching from ascribing so much meaning to the material. Much to reflect on!! x
Yes, it’s so interesting how much value we attach to cars/houses/stuff. Why? Because of what we make it mean about our identity.
It’s the attachment to our ‘roles’ that fascinated me... ‘ooh you’re a (fill in the gap) how exciting!!’ Or the reductive ‘I’m JUST a mother’ etc. What about, as you say, who we actually are ❤️
Yes, what are your values, what do you stand for, what you value you in others and what you don't (without being judgy)
Very thought provoking Suzy! I'm a fan of decluttering for sure, because it leaves me surrounded with what I love, and that's where I get clearer on who I am, and what's important to me... minimalism itself isn't what's important, it's feeling like me. Could I do that in a crowded space? Not so easily. An empty space? Yes for sure. But in a space that feels just right? Oh so much easier!
And it’s a joy to figure that out - a space that feels just right. ❤️
What a valuable piece, Suzy. Thank you. It resonates hugely. Now about to enter year four of living nomadically, I'm increasing finding that life beyond "stuff" is all about the quality of experiences, relationships and community. I still have a storage unit filled with belongings at the other end of the country and thinking about it drains me of energy. Most days I feel I could set a match to the lot, but then I feel the tug of my future home, wherever it may be, asking me not to do that yet. I will ponder those valuable questions.
I have loved creating a home for myself with colour and comfort. Things/stuff aren’t bad but rather the meaning we assign to it/how it makes us feel. I use a lot of my stuff to have fun with creatively. 🎉
Our home sounds lovely, Suzy. You're absolutely right about the meaning we attach to things. I had two consecutive house moves that were traumatic and resulted in last minute packing horrors. For the first, due to a sociopathic buyer, I was given 22 hours between exchange and completion and never knew until the moment of exchange whether it would happen at all. The second was brought forward two weeks at the last minute, leaving me with no removals support, no storage unit and a day and a half to pack an over-stuffed 3-bed house. The story I created from those experiences was that "stuff" is problematic and life is easier without too much of it. I've worked on that and now it's more about wanting a leaner, simpler life. I know that when I find my little house by the sea, I'll love making it a home, though without the maximalist approach of old. I mainly want beautiful, useful things around me, with a touch of frolic here and there 😀
I love this because it takes minimalism to another level. And your prompts make me think of the book I'm reading now, which basically challenges the assumption that we had to end up with societies obsessed with wealth, power, consumption and status, as we have. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9780374157357/the Dawn of Everything It's an enthralling book.
That sounds like a great book! ❤️
It is. It's certainly one of the most intellectually stimulating books I've read in a long time.
Will read! Thank you for the recommendation.