Dread, resentment, envy.

How to stop feeling crap and come 'home' to yourself

Photo by Sdf Rahbar on Unsplash

Signs that you not living a life aligned with your values:

• It takes hours to make a decision (because you don’t know what you really want/what’s important to you)

• You constantly end up doing things you don’t want to do – and resent it.

• You always search for an ‘expert’ to help you – you never trust your own intuition.

• You have ticked lots of boxes about what might be considered externally ‘successful’ but still feel something is missing.

• You envy passionate, enthusiastic people – what are they getting so excited about?

• You can feel directionless.

• You can dread going to work but you do it because it pays the bills.

• You might find yourself bitching and gossiping about other people because it makes you feel better about your own life.

We had our first group coaching call last night at 7pm in The Heart Leap Club

We identified that a heart-leap felt like ‘coming home to yourself’.

As we chatted together, it became clear that coming ‘home’ meant living a life according to our values. When we do that, we become our own safe haven, a living breathing home where we feel secure and settled.

(Our merry group of Heartleapers seems to share uncannily similar values: love, community, connection, service to others, honour and decency, creativity, fun, adventure.)

We agreed that when we surround ourselves with people who share our values, we no longer feel lonely. (And when we surround ourselves with people who don’t, our hearts sink!)

So how do you identify your values?

I always use this simple coaching exercise.

• Look back over the last week (or month) and remember 3 ‘golden moments’ – moments that you’ve loved, moments that have given you a warm, fuzzy glow.

• Identify the fuzzy moment and what you were doing.

• What is it that you valued in that moment?

• What made you feel like you’d come ‘home’?

(There’s also a great post here which explores this more.)

When I look back at the last week, my ‘golden moments’ included:

1. Hosting our first inaugural Heart Leap Club (deep connection with people who share my values)

2. Joining a new self-development course (learning and growing)

3. Interviewing and writing about Deborah Darling (being inspired and being creative).

These three activities tick four of my top values: connection, learning, inspiration and creativity.

The invitation

What does your life feel like when you are expressing your values on a daily basis?

(And what does your day feel like when you are not living according to your values?)

P.S Don’t forget we are hosting John Williams, the best-selling author of F**k Work, Let’s Play: Do What You Love and Get Paid For It tomorrow night at 7pm in The Heart Leap Club for paid subscribers. Do join us if you can.