Are You an Empath? Here’s How to Tell (and What to Do About It)

I talked to Dr. Judith Orloff, 'godmother' of the empathy movement on what to do when too much connection blows your fuses.

Ever walk into a room feeling fine and leave feeling like you’ve just been hit by a truckload of emotions that aren’t even yours? If that sounds familiar, congratulations—you might be an empath.

Empath? It’s term that has become popular in recent years to describe ‘highly sensitive people’ who have a higher than normal degree of empathy, the theory being that some children are born with a neurological makeup that can make them more sensitive, and more open to external stimuli than the general population.

In short, empaths are highly sensitive souls who don’t just feel for people, they actually feel people. Think of it as an emotional sponge—you soak up everyone’s vibes whether you like it or not.

I was lucky enough to interview Dr. Judith Orloff, psychiatrist and ‘godmother’ of the empath movement last year.

“With empaths, your empathy dial is turned up really high,” she says. “In contrast to say a psychopath/narcissist/sociopath who have what’s called empathy deficient disorder, meaning they don’t have empathy as we know it.

You may be in the middle of the spectrum where you are beautifully empathetic and can tune in to the pain of others. But higher up the scale, the empath not only feels your pain but takes on your pain. Empaths feel like emotional sponges that absorb the stress and upset of other people, and the world. They become drained and overwhelmed,” she says.

Here’s an excerpt from the interview:

How do you know if you’re an empath?

Here’s a quick checklist:

• Have you been labelled “too sensitive” your whole life, like it’s a bad thing? Empaths are often shamed for this, leading to a lot of self-doubt.

• Do noise, strong smells, or excessive talking make you feel overwhelmed? Even a whiff of regular perfume in a lift can feel suffocating.

• Do you pick up other people’s emotions? If someone’s in a bad mood, does your mood shift too?

• Do you prefer taking your own car to events, so you can leave whenever you want, avoiding the social overload?

• Do you love being in nature—parks, trees, fresh air—where you can recharge?

• Do you need regular alone time to decompress and reset?

If you’re nodding along, you’re probably an empath. The first step is recognising these traits in yourself.

Why are some people more empathetic?

Research suggests that empaths might have a hyperactive mirror neuron system—the part of the brain responsible for compassion. Because of this heightened sensitivity, empaths can easily absorb the emotions of others, which is why it’s so important to learn how to care for yourself without shouldering everyone else’s burdens. The phenomenon of “emotional contagion” is real—someone’s bad mood can spread through an entire office like wildfire. On the flip side, positive emotions are contagious too, boosting cooperation and productivity. Empaths just tend to feel it all a little more intensely.

How did you discover you were an empath?

I’ve been empathic since I was a child, but I didn’t have the vocabulary for it. Crowded places like shopping malls were exhausting—I’d walk in feeling fine, but walk out feeling completely drained or with aches I didn’t have before. I didn’t realise I was soaking up the emotional energy around me. Growing up in a family of doctors, the advice was always, “You need to toughen up.” They didn’t understand.

How did you learn to survive and thrive as an empath?

I started meeting mentors who told me, “You’re intuitive, you’re empathic—this is a gift, not a weakness.” That shift in perspective became my healing journey. I went to medical school, completed my psychiatric residency at UCLA, and now incorporate my empathic abilities into my practice. It’s been a journey from being a shy, ashamed child to someone who fully embraces their empathic abilities. Now, I teach others to value this part of themselves too.

How can we embrace our empathetic abilities?

As a psychiatrist, I know it’s crucial to heal emotional wounds with proper support, but much suffering is made worse by a lack of self-love. That’s where affirmations come in. They help reprogram outdated beliefs and shift your focus. They’re not about ignoring tough feelings, but rather about centering yourself and challenging negative thoughts.

That’s why I wrote Affirmations for Empaths—it’s a year of guided journaling with one affirmation each week. Affirmations are powerful phrases that, with repetition, can go deep into your subconscious and help you see your abilities in a more positive light.

How do affirmations work?

Affirmations are about focusing on what’s right, not what’s wrong. They’re especially useful for healing emotional triggers—those moments that throw you off balance, like criticism about your appearance or feeling unlovable. Understanding where these triggers come from is key to healing them. Then, with affirmations, you can reprogram those negative beliefs. For example, swap “I’m not good enough” for “I am lovable, capable, and smart.”

Healing these emotional triggers is liberating because you stop letting others' comments drain your energy. Yes, they might still be annoying, but they won’t have the power to affect you in the same way. The more you heal, the more emotionally free you become.

Five Affirmations for Happiness as an Empath:

1. I identify my emotional triggers and begin to heal them.

2. I value supportive relationships and seek out low-drama, non-toxic people.

3. I protect my energy by setting healthy boundaries and saying a loving "no" when needed.

4. As a balanced empath, I allow myself to receive support, even when giving feels more natural.

5. Today, I commit to leading a life based on love, not fear.

Affirmations for Empaths: A Year of Guided Journaling (Sounds True, £15.99) is out now