How to meditate: Here are instructions from my meditation teacher Nick Scaramanga
(If you have your own practice or use an app, do your own thing but share what’s working or not working for you- the main thing is that we commit to meditating every day and create a practice)
· Come into a comfortable seated position with a stable triangular base. Sway side to side to find that middle position where your spine is as upright and erect as it can be with the neck long. Tilt your head down as if you were holding a rubber ball beneath your chin. Have your eyes lowered and either open or closed, hands in your lap, and your tongue broad and resting on the roof of your mouth.
Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth slowly into your belly. Try to have this open, inquisitiveness about everything happening within you and around you. Observe versus than judge.
· Remain present with all of these things that arise and pass – thoughts, memories, sights and sounds. These things arise and pass, but our awareness remains present. These thoughts and feelings that arise and pass are not us. Just rest in this open awareness, this quality of presence, reflecting all that arises and passes. Anytime you feel yourself getting involved in these things that arise and pass then just let go and come back to the breath.
· Set an intention to meditate for 100 days straight. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss a day but if you do, start from 1 again. You want to get to the point where meditation is part of your daily ‘hygiene’. Just like you’d feel grubby if you didn’t brush your teeth every day, you will miss your meditation session in the same way.
I missed two days of meditation out of my 100 days of meditation challenge.
My promise to myself if I miss even one day is I go back to the beginning again.
Today I am beginning again - anyone want to join me?
100 days of meditation, and if we manage to do it every day, we'll end on January 22nd, which is supposed to be 'Blue Monday' the worst day in the year for mood.
What if we start the year with a more positive vibe? Let's do it!
30 minutes of meditation for 100 days. That's my promise.
Done. Today, got up and staggered to the living room, set my alarm. Am aware how negative and mundane my thoughts are. I know that the aim is to observe my thoughts but I seem to get caught by the slightest thing and then I'm down the rabbit hole of small niggling worries, followed by 'what's the point?' When I remember, I bring myself back to my breathing and am aware how tense I am, how I feel a little sick and my shoulders are by my ears.
100 days of meditation. I started again on the 23rd October.
The goal is to meditate every day for 100 days consecutively.
I wanted to see if I could meditate every day without posting here.
Without the external validation.
Without looking outwards for someone to tell me how well I was doing.
I have managed to meditate quietly for 33 days.
But I wobbled at the weekend and on Sunday, I couldn't bear the cacophony in my head and went on strike. I've had a couple of days of avoiding the noise bouncing around my bonce.
Today, I start again.
Join me if you fancy it?
100 days of meditation.
If we manage it - we can meditate through the darkness into Spring.
Join me.
You can meditate any way you want. The idea is simply to quietly to commit to meditating every day for 30 minutes.
"Every day of your life, every morning of your life, you could ask yourself, “As I go into this day, what is the most important thing? What is the best use of this day?” At my age, it’s kind of scary when I go to bed at night and I look back at the day, and it seems like it passed in the snap of a finger. That was a whole day? What did I do with it? Did I move any closer to being more compassionate, loving, and caring — to being fully awake? Is my mind more open? What did I actually do? I feel how little time there is and how important it is how we spend our time.
Awakened mind exists in our surroundings, but how often are we actually touching in with it?
What is the best use of each day of our lives? In one very short day, each of us would become more sane, more compassionate, more tender, more in touch with the dream-like quality of reality. Or we could bury all these qualities more deeply and get more in touch with solid mind, retreating more into our own cocoon." Pema Chodron
Oh no. Yesterday, on day 57 out of 100, I missed my meditation session.
30 minutes a day for 57 days consecutively. I did brilliantly.
But a deadline, and a new shiny distraction and yesterday, I just forgot.
After 57 days....how can that be?
When does it become a habit?
Ok. The rules were clear. If you miss a day, you start again.
Today I start again.
Day 1/100 days of meditation.
Anyone want to join me?
100 days of consecutive meditation sessions.
That's the challenge.
That would take us into the new year.
I want to make meditation a habit.
That I don't think about.
Like brushing my teeth.
I never forget to brush my teeth.
“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
It's very up and down like a rollercoaster. But am watching the rollercoaster more than riding it screaming.
Although sometimes I do scream.
With my hands waving in the air. Metaphorically.
I have yet to meditate today.
The last few days, I'm squeezing my meditation in right at the end of the day.
It's better first thing. But Bertie the mad dog won't wait for his walk.
I need to create a habit of once I come back in from the dog walk, I meditate.
But once I'm in the world, I find it hard to stop.
I want coffee, my emails, my phone, to write a list, to make a plan. Do, do, do.
I don't want to sit still and watch my thoughts bounce around like Bertie.
In the evening, it's better, my thoughts don't bounce around as much.
“There is no good or bad meditation — there is simply awareness or non-awareness. To begin with, we get distracted a lot. Over time, we get distracted less. Be gentle with your approach, be patient with the mind, and be kind to yourself along the way.” -Andy Puddicombe
Once again, lax with my reporting but not in my practice.
I have meditated every day for 30 minutes
Nearly half way there.
It's definitely easier if I meditate first thing after the dog walk but the resistance is very strong to get started.
I can find every excuse.
But committing, even when I just manage to squeeze it in the last 30 minutes of the day, has kept me on track.
When I become very resistant, I listen to a 30 minute meditation on Insight Timer.
But guided meditations feel like cheating somehow.
But I am turning up. I'm doing it.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Despite meditating for 48 days, I am not yearning for the endless immensity of the sea.
I have been lax with my reporting about my 100 day meditation challenge but not with my meditation.
Every day for 30 minutes.
Apart from last night.
I'd like to say I meditated but it was 11.30pm, I plugged in my headphones and I definitely just fell asleep.
I had airpods on and found one practically up my nostril this morning (it could have been worse, I suppose).
It's no good leaving my meditation to the end of the day. As I get busier, I'm squeezing my practice in.
I want to start my day with meditation.
Yesterday was the first day with the house back to myself after a busy summer full of wonderful visits and visitors.
I had no excuse.
But my little dog is back with me (after a holiday with my ex) so he was jumping up and down on my chest first thing and then I got sucked into the day.
Today, I took bouncing dog out, then came back and meditated.
I'm about to start The Artist's Way so will soon be doing my morning pages too.
How will I fit my life in?
But then I take a deep breath.
What is the point of this? Why am I meditating?
I want to simplify my life, I want to focus on what's important to me, I want to create some space inside my head.
What I'm finding though is that meditating is definitely giving more energy so I am coming up with more ideas, want to see more people and my life becomes packed jam full.
I love living my life to the edges.
But I need space to feel calm.
What can I drop from my life?
I cancelled all my subscriptions to NowTV/Apple TV and Netflix today. I definitely don't to spend my time watching a screen.
With dark nights on its way - is this a good idea?
I have a apartment full of a giant son and his friend who are staying before they go back to uni. It was hard to find a quiet corner of the apartment and my mind yesterday. I feel very tired. I have been on the road for 10 days, my bags are still unpacked and I have a deadline for a 2000 word piece. I'm writing in bed to try and find a quiet space from the giant children.
I plugged into a guided meditation on Insight Timer and I woke up an hour later. Does that count?
"If it weren’t for my mind, my meditation would be excellent" Pema Chodron
Meditated at the airport on the way home. Found a quiet corner.
I'm not sure that yesterday's mediation counted as after a long drive home, I sat with my timer on and promptly fell sleep. So I think actually I just had a power nap.
Picked up my little dog and now my son Charlie is home with his friend so the apartment is full to busting so need to find a routine again now I'm back.
My friends have gone off for one last drink and I've sneaked back to hotel to meditate! Oh how times have changed! But my 34 day commitment streak continues.
It's been an exciting, fun filled day with good friends.
And I meditated.
"It is only when the mind is open and receptive that learning and seeing and change can occur." John Kabat Zinn.
Can I award myself a medal? I meditated yesterday at the airport at 5am? I am flying to Berlin with my friends and took myself off to a corner and meditated before we set off.
I am yet to meditate today. I am staying with my friends and sharing a room and it's very noisy and wonderful but not much space to meditate.
31/100 I managed to do an extra 10 minutes yesterday. This morning had quite a settled session. I've been travelling so am energised but my mind weirdly still.
I was driving through London yesterday and felt connected to the whole world. I felt very alive and happy.
I met some inspirational people who really walk the talk and feel very inspired. and a little bit proud of myself. I've committed and kept to my promises for 30 days and I'm doing it.
30/100 days of meditation Up early and friends burst into my room half way through the meditation with coffee. So today it I've done 20 minutes and will see what happens if I do 10 minutes later.
How to accept interruptions as part of the practice?
28/100 I am not sure if I am supposed to do this (will ask my meditation teacher) but today when I found myself noticing and then being kidnapped by some pretty rough house thoughts, I decided to think about my son and how much I loved him. It's still a thought. But it helped me find my way back from the dark corners of my mind. I know I'm supposed to just focus on my breathing and notice my thoughts and a thought about my son is a thought. But to focus on love really helped today.
I realise the idea of meditation every day is not to make me feel good necessarily but just to master the art of noticing thoughts and letting them go and to understand 'I am not my thoughts'.
When I looked for a link or a thought to share at the end of today's meditation on love - I found all the articles on 'loving-kindness'.
26 and 27/100 days of meditation. I'm on the road now so couldn't connect with wifi yesterday but meditated before I got up yesterday.
Staying with friends today and managed to meditate before coming down to breakfast.
Connection is one of my highest values so I feel it's hard not to just bounce down to see everyone rather than sit in a room on my own meditating. But I did.
I wonder what it would be like to value connecting with myself as highly as connecting with others.
“Everyone has a little madness on the inside. The skill is in understanding the madness, and then being at ease with it.” Andy Puddicombe
25/100 days of meditation. Phew! Today my mind just chocca full of arrangements. My mind was like bossy fussypot - have you got your passport, remember to leave the keys under the plantpot, what about using that cover for that sofa? I think I managed about 5 minutes of focusing on my breathing today.
People talk about brain synapses being like motorways - mine feel like tiny higgedly piggy country roads that sometimes lead to a beautiful spot with a sea view and others to Tesco's carpark.
There are no road signs.
Here's a lovely post on this from Deepak Chopra about being lost in thought.
23/24 out of 100 days of meditation. I forgot to post yesterday but I did meditate.
I'm tired today. I have a busy week ahead. My apartment is quiet again after all my visitors last week. My head is not quiet though.
What really works is when I breathe and drop down into my body and notice how my body is feeling. That slows everything down.
Here's a good exercise to try.
How to Drop Into Your Body & Feelings
BY TSOKNYI RINPOCHE
Relax deeply. Don’t hold onto anything. Completely let go of thinking and judging mind while gently maintaining the clarity and knowing aspects of mind.
Now raise your arms to shoulder height, pause, and let them drop suddenly to your knees. As you drop your arms, breathe out forcefully. Then say, “Who cares? So what? Svaha!” (Svaha is a Sanskrit word used frequently in mantras that means “So be it.”)
Whatever happens, wherever you land after dropping your arms, just let it be. Don’t do or try to block anything. Just rest. There is no need to search for something new or try to achieve some special insight or state.
Feel whatever feelings and sensations arise and be lightly aware of them. Feel them naturally and softly, and don’t try to change anything. When uncomfortable feelings come up, you can relax and trust them, without analyzing or somehow figuring them out. Let them be as they are through feeling awareness while resting naturally in the body.
I notice how I put my meditation down the list when other people are around. I prioritise others and their needs. That's a familiar habit.
But I also notice how I love the company of friends and how it's so shiny and lovely to be in their company that I slack off my meditation practice if I get the chance and feel like a sulky teenager when I force myself to go through with my commitment.
And then I remember, I have to just notice the resistance and meditate anyway.
And I did.
So there.
😂
Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind.”– Swami Muktananda
20/100 days of meditation. I put my phone alarm on for my 30 minute meditation session today. 20 minutes in, my phone rang and it was my dear friend ringing from Denmark and I stopped meditating and took the call. (Note to self put airplane mode on)
But I couldn't resist it. It felt like an amplified example of what happens with my thoughts when I'm meditating.
They call to me and feel irresistible.
I want to be in the world, being with my friends, talking and laughing and not in the goldfish bowl of my head listening to my own thoughts going round and round.
I feel such resistance.
I know I need to just be with my resistance.
But I just want to be with my Danish friend laughing.
Here's a great article from Pema Chodron about being a flagpole versus the the flag.
"At Gampo Abbey, there are flagpoles on the cliffs above the ocean. We keep experimenting with putting flags out there, because that’s the point of flagpoles. Sometimes the weather is very calm, and we experience these lovely flags in the stillness of slight wind. Other times there are incredibly high winds, and the flags get shredded in a very short time. The image of the flagpole and the flag is a great one for working with thoughts and emotions, because the flagpole is steady and holds, and then the winds are whipping the flags all over the place, tearing them to shreds—that’s usually our predicament. We are the flags, and the wind is just whipping us around. We’re just whipped here and there and all over the place. And our emotions are escalating, our thoughts are all over the place. But using thoughts or emotions themselves as the object of meditation is experiencing life from the perspective of the flagpole. At Gampo Abbey, we never have to get new flagpoles. Even with hurricane-velocity winds, the flagpoles stay up on the cliffs.|
18/100 days of meditation. Up at 6am. Head full of practical arrangements this morning - how to get the bureau to the vintage shop, will I be able to get there on time to pick up Odie for dog sitting, did I book the table for Friday, should I drive or train to Edinburgh on Saturday?
I think I managed to catch my thoughts twice.
But a busy, bustling mind like a train station at rush hour.
I found this article today from Mark Van Buren about just letting the mind be.
"We can try letting our mind be—just leave it alone. Don’t react to it or engage with it. Think of the random wandering thoughts like a radio that was accidentally left on, creating a background noise—let’s just say for the sake of this analogy that it’s a boring, nonsensical talk show. Allow the thoughts to be there. We don’t have to try to turn them off, nor do we have to indulge in them; we can rather let it be in the background, allowing each thought to come and go. Eventually the mind will quiet down—or not—in its own time. Remember, the effort isn’t in trying to stop the mind but in paying attention in a receptive way to what’s actually happening. We aren’t trying to get rid of thinking, just learning to relate to it rather than live from it.
If one thought just will not stop arising, then simply label it. “Having a thought about work tomorrow.” “Thinking about the hurtful words my friend said to me the other day.” “Obsessing over something I can’t change.” “Ah yes, my mind is worrying about this.” By practicing with our thoughts in this way, our minds will naturally begin to open and slow down, leaving us with a spacious, receptive mind.
The bottom line is that we need to stop needlessly shaking up the jar. Put it down and allow the dirt to settle to the bottom, leaving the water clear and calm, as it once was.
Accept whatever the mind is doing, and let it settle on its own. "
17/100 days of meditation. Such a long day. Was up at 6am to meditate but then commuting into Newcastle for a freelance job and then with friends this evening. Meditation gives me more energy during the day but then I wear myself out by doing too much.
I have another packed day planned for tomorrow and will have to be up at 6am to fit the meditation in.
I didn't have time to write a note about my meditation session this morning. I am writing it now but I can't remember how it was this morning.
Here's an article about a study which shows why meditation gives us energy.
Much quieter in here today. Bright blue skies, soft breeze, gentle buffeting by a few random thoughts.
If I'm honest, it's felt like relentless rain for the last few weeks so today felt like walking out in a fresh vista after the storm.
Yes, I know. I'm not supposed to judge my sessions as good or bad. Just sit and be with whatever arises is the instruction.
But over the last 2 weeks, I definitely have been learning how to sit in the rain.
It was lovely to sit in the sunshine today.
"Whether we’re seeking inner peace or global peace or a combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of unconditional openness to all that arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of challenges, free of rough and smooth, it’s an experience that’s expansive enough to include all that arises without feeling threatened.” Pema Chodron.
Day 14/100 days of Meditation. Today I woke up late and was anxious to watch the World Cup football final! I just wanted to get my meditation over...
Like a chore to do, like another box to tick.
What's the point of this? I kept thinking.
I notice inane thoughts coming in and out.
A few real jabby worries.
Then I started to focus on my body and started to 'hear' my heartbeat. It's like I could feel my heart beat pumping through my body.
My shoulders relaxed, my jaw slackened.
It felt very peaceful and it felt like I had a place to rest.
Way back in my twenties I learned how to scuba dive on a press trip. When I was on the top of the water, trying to figure out how to release the air in my vest, water going up my nostrils I felt panicked and freaked out. But as I started to breathe deeply into the regulator and I got under the water and built confidence, I learned how to float quietly without frantically waving my hands.
That's what it felt like today.
When I was looking for some inspiration from Pema today - I found this article about creating a 'gap'.
"If you take some time to formally practice meditation, perhaps in the early morning, there is a lot of silence and space. Meditation practice itself is a way to create gaps. Every time you realize you are thinking and you let your thoughts go, you are creating a gap. Every time the breath goes out, you are creating a gap. You may not always experience it that way, but the basic meditation instruction is designed to be full of gaps. If you don’t fill up your practice time with your discursive mind, with your worrying and obsessing and all that kind of thing, you have time to experience the blessing of your surroundings. You can just sit there quietly. Then maybe silence will dawn on you, and the sacredness of the space will penetrate."
Day 13/100 Felt achey with a sore throat this morning. But my thoughts were sluggish so it made it easier than the fast motorway today. I know I'm not supposed to judge but observe my meditation practice - 'yesterday was awful, today was good' but I fall into judging so easily. Which is missing the point.
I know it's about getting more accepting of that 'wild arc of our experience' and be able to stay and observe versus reacting (not just when we're meditating but in real life too)
Last night, I was stabbed by a big negative thought. It really got my attention. I managed not to run away from it or numb it. I just nodded in its direction, acknowledged with a blank stare in a rather cool Thomas Shelby moment. No drama. Maybe that's a bit of real life progress.
(Or is comparing my reaction to a 1930s Peaky Blinder gangster from Birmingham not the healthiest way to go? 😂 )
But hey, I know what I mean.
Another note from Pema today
"The mind is very wild. The human experience is full of unpredictability and paradox, joys and sorrows, successes and failures. We can’t escape any of these experiences in the vast terrain of our existence. It is part of what makes life grand—and it is also why our minds take us on such a crazy ride. If we can train ourselves through meditation to be more open and more accepting toward the wild arc of our experience, if we can lean into the difficulties of life and the ride of our minds, we can become more settled and relaxed amid whatever life brings us."
Day 12 of 100 day mediation. I woke up late this morning. It's been a busy week. I felt reluctant and very resistant to meditate. It felt like being at the side of the busy road with a million cars driving past really fast and trying to cross the road to get to the other side. There was no let up, no gap in the traffic. At one point, I realised my shoulders were up by my ears. I just kept breathing deeply. I could still feel the traffic blow my hair back. Or that's what it felt like.
Again, trying not to judge it.
Just to observe it.
I couldn't follow or make out any thoughts - just a cacophony, a blast of bad breath from a dragon's mouth.
Day 11 of 100 days of meditation. I was up working late on a deadline last night. And also needed to send out my Substack writing hour reminder but ran of time and energy last night.
So I got up early and was on the computer first thing versus meditating and had a coffee.
So I was in full adrenalised/work mode when I eventually set the alarm for 30 minutes at 8am to meditate for half an hour.
I only peeked at the time, twice. I felt very energised this morning (probably the coffee. 😂)
I'm trying not to judge the sessions as good or bad - but rather just observe. But yesterday felt really rather dark and if I'm honest, I was dreading today's session.
My negative thoughts are highly skilled at kidnapping me.
I comfort myself by reminding myself about what I'm trying to do here every day.
I'm training the mind to wave at the kidnappers and let them do their thing over there versus getting in the van with them.
"You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather."
- Pema Chödrön
It feels difficult to remember this when there's thunder and lightning on the horizon but I am a Jedi in training.
Day 10 of 100 days of meditation. Phew. It was a very negative crowd inside my head this morning. Feels difficult to sit and 'observe' the wall of critics! Listening to sounds outside the window helped bring me back to the present and my breathing.
Day 9 of 100 days meditation: I had a 7am interview with an expert this morning because I was on a tight deadline for work so that meant I had to set my alarm for 6 to meditate. I thought I would be falling asleep but it was the least 'noisy' session so far. It's as if my thoughts hadn't woken up yet. I had the weird experience of hearing my heart beat in my ears, which felt slightly odd but I was definitely right here, right now.
It's Monday. Woke up early, meditated in bed. My mind was swinging through the trees of my thoughts and emotions without much let up. My window was open so beginning to be aware of sounds outside helped. It brought me back to my breathing.
I'm starting to be aware just how much time I don't spend in the present. I'm just not present in my life at all. My imagination is one of my greatest strengths but in terms of staying present in your life, phew! I'm so interested to see what happens when I train my mind to stay.
Here's Pema again on training your mind like a dog!
"In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel it's impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but also about what it is to be human. All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We really don't want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. it goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humour can give us the strength to settle down.
The pith instruction is, Stay...stay...just stay. Learning to stay with ourselves in meditation is like training a dog. If we train a dog by beating it, we'll end up with an obedient but very inflexible and rather terrified dog. The dog may obey when we say, "Stay!" "Come!" "Roll over!" and "Sit up!" but he will also be neurotic and confused. By contrast, training with kindness results in someone who is flexible and confident, who doesn't become upset when situations are unpredictable and insecure.
So whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to "stay" and settle down. are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Discursive mind? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay!. What's for lunch? Stay! What am I doing here? Stay! I can't stand this another minute! Stay! That is how we cultivate steadfastness. [...]
When our emotions intensify, what we usually feel is fear. This fear is always lurking in our lives. In sitting meditation we practice dropping whatever story we are telling ourselves and leaning into the emotions and the fear, Thus we train in opening the fearful heart to the restlessness of our own energy. We learn to abide with the experience of our emotional distress. [...]
Coming back to the present moment takes some effort, but the effort is very light. The instruction is to "touch and go." we touch thoughts by acknowledging them as thinking and then we let them go. It's a way of relaxing our struggle, like touching a bubble with a feather. It's a nonaggressive approach to being here.
Day 7 of 100 days of Meditation. I made the mistake of having a coffee and picking up my phone before meditating this morning and I found it very difficult to stay on track for 30 minutes once I started. I kept checking the time and feeling impatient. I could feel myself getting pulled and dragged by my thoughts to all the exciting and interesting things that are happening 'out there'.
I suppose that's the point and why I'm doing this - to build our muscles of attention and to notice when I get hooked and rather than dive down the same old rabbit holes, continue my bad habits, I stop the 'chain reaction'.
Our phones/life offers so much stimulation/shiny interest subjects and objects, that we either reject or grab hold of them.
Being able to observe without getting sucked into the vacuum is surely a wonderful skill to master.
Pema Chödrön calls it shenpa - the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. "We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked, we begin by recognising that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment. Sitting practice teaches us how to open and relax to whatever arises, without picking and choosing. It teaches us to experience the uneasiness and the urge fully, and to interrupt the momentum that usually follows. We do this by not following after the thoughts and learning to come back to the present moment. We learn to stay with the uneasiness, the tightening, the itch of shenpa. We train in sitting still with our desire to scratch. This is how we learn to stop the chain reaction of habitual patterns that otherwise will rule our lives. This is how we weaken the patterns that keep us hooked into discomfort that we mistake as comfort."
Day 6 of 100 days of meditation. I felt more resistance today to starting. 'It's Saturday', I thought, 'it's my day off.' It's interesting that I think of meditation as a chore/a thing on my to-do list.
But I did it anyway.
Today was a busy mind - cloudy with patches of blue sky and occasional bursts of sun.
"We do not meditate in order to be comfortable. In other words, we don’t meditate in order to always, all the time, feel good. I imagine shockwaves are passing through you as you read this, because so many people come to meditation to simply “feel better.” However, the purpose of meditation is not to feel bad, you’ll be glad to know. Rather, meditation gives us the opportunity to have an open, compassionate attentiveness to whatever is going on. The meditative space is like the big sky— spacious, vast enough to accommodate anything that arises.
In meditation, our thoughts and emotions can become like clouds that dwell and pass away. Good and comfortable, pleasing and difficult and painful—all of this comes and goes. So the essence of meditation is training in something that is quite radical and definitely not the habitual pattern of the species: and that is to stay with ourselves no matter what is happening, without putting labels of good and bad, right and wrong, pure and impure, on top of our experience." Pema Chodron.
Day 5 of 100 days of meditation. Tired today. It's Friday. Same experience of getting to around 23 minutes and desperate to finish but then stay for that extra 7 minutes and I settle. I hear Pete Cohen's words in my head: 'It's an act of courage'. I noticed the inner critic quite loudly today and I listen to a list of criticisms about my work, scathing judgements about myself. It's difficult not to get caught and go down the rabbit hole. It occurs to me that this is why I am so reluctant to meditate. Without the noise of the outside world, the noise of the inside world seems so much louder and when that noise is unpleasant, why would you choose to hang out here? The trick is, my meditation teaches says, is to let the thoughts come and let the thoughts go. The point of this daily practice is to make that easier. But I know from my journalistic training that the click bait of negative headlines gets more clicks than the positive ones. It's the same with the click bait of the negative thoughts in my brain. But I realise this meditation practice is not swopping the negative headlines for positive ones but rather just noticing and observing both and not being pulled down the fantasy of either. It's practicing not getting hooked by my nightmares or my big dreams.
"Sitting practice teaches us how to open and relax to whatever arises, without picking and choosing. It teaches us to experience the uneasiness and the urge fully, and to interrupt the momentum that usually follows. We do this by not following after the thoughts and learning to come back to the present moment," says Pema Chodron
Here's a great article about what Pema Chodron calls 'shenpa' or the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked, we begin by recognizing that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment.
Day 4 of 100 days of Meditation: Again, it took me ages to settle. 23 minute mark, I am itching to get up. But then the last 5 minutes, I seem to be the most 'thoughtless'. I notice that I get a weird feeling in my stomach when I 'connect' with the Force.
Yesterday, I felt like I was 'on fire' creatively - I posted 2 Substacks! I remember this - I become ultra creative when I meditate. When I am creative, it makes me feel like I'm living the 'right life'. Creativity is one of my top values. When I live, embodying my values, I feel alive.
It's not too late to join the meditation 100 day challenge. The commitment is to meditate every day for 100 days. If you miss a day you go back to day 1. It's about creating a daily meditation habit. There are a million benefits to meditation. From health and mental health to finding the meaning of life, the only challenge is actually sitting down and doing it! So if you want a little space to share your journey and your ups and down, then join this thread. Here's an interview with my meditation teacher. https://heartleap.substack.com/p/i-meditated-for-100-days-straight
“Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ― Buddha
Day 3: done. Felt a little bit delicate and hormonal this morning. So stayed in bed but sitting up. It takes me ages to settle but then finally around the 25 minute mark - I can start to observe my thoughts rather than be battered by them.
And feel ready to face the day.
“Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ~ Buddha
So let's be honest and track our progress here. You can also write any notes here.
I meditated in bed versus a chair at 7am for half an hour before coffee. Felt very sleepy. Think I might try a chair tomorrow. My thoughts feel like a crack team of SAS, you think all is calm and then they come in through the windows and grab you and I'm being kidnapped in the back of a van down dark alley before I can focus back on my breathing. 😂
Thank you so much for sharing this Suzy. I re-started my usual meditation practice today. Mine is only 10-mins (on Calm) so still at the newbie level, but I think if I can achieve the 100 days I can move up to meditating for longer. (I always enjoy that old joke “If you don’t have time to meditate for an hour every day, then you should meditate for two hours every day.”). I also used to listen to a lot of Tara Brach so I'm going to go back to that too, as I love how she talks about meditation practices with insight and humour.
I’ve been thinking about getting back to meditation for a while but I’ll have to work up to 30 mins (not sure I’ll ever get there - I think 15 is my sweet spot). Downloaded an app this morning and the first meditation was 3 mins. Felt good though.
Do what works for you. I'm not advocating a particular type of meditation (although I am happy to share the tips from my meditation teacher). So do what works for you or experiment. This thread is about committing to a regular practice. So glad you're here with us.
I have had a lost weekend.
I missed two days of meditation out of my 100 days of meditation challenge.
My promise to myself if I miss even one day is I go back to the beginning again.
Today I am beginning again - anyone want to join me?
100 days of meditation, and if we manage to do it every day, we'll end on January 22nd, which is supposed to be 'Blue Monday' the worst day in the year for mood.
What if we start the year with a more positive vibe? Let's do it!
30 minutes of meditation for 100 days. That's my promise.
You can do any style you want.
You just need to commit to meditating.
“Meditation practice isn't about trying to throw ourselves away and become something better. It's about befriending who we are already.” Pema Chodron
I am committing to 100 days of Meditation.
You can join me on this thread and we can support each other.
Day 2: 100 Days of Meditation
Done. Today, got up and staggered to the living room, set my alarm. Am aware how negative and mundane my thoughts are. I know that the aim is to observe my thoughts but I seem to get caught by the slightest thing and then I'm down the rabbit hole of small niggling worries, followed by 'what's the point?' When I remember, I bring myself back to my breathing and am aware how tense I am, how I feel a little sick and my shoulders are by my ears.
Six minutes today. The woman spoke so slowly that I was tempted to play it on 1.5 speed but I resisted!
Great! 6 minutes. I find it takes me absolutely ages to settle down. I spend at least 6 minutes fidgeting to find the 'right' sitting place. 😂
Ha! I literally just dragged myself to sitting up in bed.
I did that on day one but I kept falling back to sleep. 😳
Darn it! I've been very quiet on this thread.
100 days of meditation. I started again on the 23rd October.
The goal is to meditate every day for 100 days consecutively.
I wanted to see if I could meditate every day without posting here.
Without the external validation.
Without looking outwards for someone to tell me how well I was doing.
I have managed to meditate quietly for 33 days.
But I wobbled at the weekend and on Sunday, I couldn't bear the cacophony in my head and went on strike. I've had a couple of days of avoiding the noise bouncing around my bonce.
Today, I start again.
Join me if you fancy it?
100 days of meditation.
If we manage it - we can meditate through the darkness into Spring.
Join me.
You can meditate any way you want. The idea is simply to quietly to commit to meditating every day for 30 minutes.
"Every day of your life, every morning of your life, you could ask yourself, “As I go into this day, what is the most important thing? What is the best use of this day?” At my age, it’s kind of scary when I go to bed at night and I look back at the day, and it seems like it passed in the snap of a finger. That was a whole day? What did I do with it? Did I move any closer to being more compassionate, loving, and caring — to being fully awake? Is my mind more open? What did I actually do? I feel how little time there is and how important it is how we spend our time.
Awakened mind exists in our surroundings, but how often are we actually touching in with it?
What is the best use of each day of our lives? In one very short day, each of us would become more sane, more compassionate, more tender, more in touch with the dream-like quality of reality. Or we could bury all these qualities more deeply and get more in touch with solid mind, retreating more into our own cocoon." Pema Chodron
Oh no. Yesterday, on day 57 out of 100, I missed my meditation session.
30 minutes a day for 57 days consecutively. I did brilliantly.
But a deadline, and a new shiny distraction and yesterday, I just forgot.
After 57 days....how can that be?
When does it become a habit?
Ok. The rules were clear. If you miss a day, you start again.
Today I start again.
Day 1/100 days of meditation.
Anyone want to join me?
100 days of consecutive meditation sessions.
That's the challenge.
That would take us into the new year.
I want to make meditation a habit.
That I don't think about.
Like brushing my teeth.
I never forget to brush my teeth.
“For what it’s worth, it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald
I'm starting over today.
49 and 50 days out of 100 days of meditation.
I reached the 50 day mark late last night.
Half way there.
Am I feeling different?
More focussed, definitely.
I notice my mood more.
It's very up and down like a rollercoaster. But am watching the rollercoaster more than riding it screaming.
Although sometimes I do scream.
With my hands waving in the air. Metaphorically.
I have yet to meditate today.
The last few days, I'm squeezing my meditation in right at the end of the day.
It's better first thing. But Bertie the mad dog won't wait for his walk.
I need to create a habit of once I come back in from the dog walk, I meditate.
But once I'm in the world, I find it hard to stop.
I want coffee, my emails, my phone, to write a list, to make a plan. Do, do, do.
I don't want to sit still and watch my thoughts bounce around like Bertie.
In the evening, it's better, my thoughts don't bounce around as much.
“There is no good or bad meditation — there is simply awareness or non-awareness. To begin with, we get distracted a lot. Over time, we get distracted less. Be gentle with your approach, be patient with the mind, and be kind to yourself along the way.” -Andy Puddicombe
43/44/45/46/48 days out of 100 Meditation.
Once again, lax with my reporting but not in my practice.
I have meditated every day for 30 minutes
Nearly half way there.
It's definitely easier if I meditate first thing after the dog walk but the resistance is very strong to get started.
I can find every excuse.
But committing, even when I just manage to squeeze it in the last 30 minutes of the day, has kept me on track.
When I become very resistant, I listen to a 30 minute meditation on Insight Timer.
But guided meditations feel like cheating somehow.
But I am turning up. I'm doing it.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t herd people together to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea.” Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Despite meditating for 48 days, I am not yearning for the endless immensity of the sea.
Yet.
38/39/40/41/42 out of 100 days of meditation
I have been lax with my reporting about my 100 day meditation challenge but not with my meditation.
Every day for 30 minutes.
Apart from last night.
I'd like to say I meditated but it was 11.30pm, I plugged in my headphones and I definitely just fell asleep.
I had airpods on and found one practically up my nostril this morning (it could have been worse, I suppose).
It's no good leaving my meditation to the end of the day. As I get busier, I'm squeezing my practice in.
I want to start my day with meditation.
Yesterday was the first day with the house back to myself after a busy summer full of wonderful visits and visitors.
I had no excuse.
But my little dog is back with me (after a holiday with my ex) so he was jumping up and down on my chest first thing and then I got sucked into the day.
Today, I took bouncing dog out, then came back and meditated.
I'm about to start The Artist's Way so will soon be doing my morning pages too.
How will I fit my life in?
But then I take a deep breath.
What is the point of this? Why am I meditating?
I want to simplify my life, I want to focus on what's important to me, I want to create some space inside my head.
What I'm finding though is that meditating is definitely giving more energy so I am coming up with more ideas, want to see more people and my life becomes packed jam full.
I love living my life to the edges.
But I need space to feel calm.
What can I drop from my life?
I cancelled all my subscriptions to NowTV/Apple TV and Netflix today. I definitely don't to spend my time watching a screen.
With dark nights on its way - is this a good idea?
I don't know. But let's see...
https://heartleap.substack.com/p/100-days-of-meditation-start-here
37 days of 100 days of meditation.
I have a apartment full of a giant son and his friend who are staying before they go back to uni. It was hard to find a quiet corner of the apartment and my mind yesterday. I feel very tired. I have been on the road for 10 days, my bags are still unpacked and I have a deadline for a 2000 word piece. I'm writing in bed to try and find a quiet space from the giant children.
I plugged into a guided meditation on Insight Timer and I woke up an hour later. Does that count?
"If it weren’t for my mind, my meditation would be excellent" Pema Chodron
35 and 36 days of 100 days of meditation
Meditated at the airport on the way home. Found a quiet corner.
I'm not sure that yesterday's mediation counted as after a long drive home, I sat with my timer on and promptly fell sleep. So I think actually I just had a power nap.
Picked up my little dog and now my son Charlie is home with his friend so the apartment is full to busting so need to find a routine again now I'm back.
34/100 days of meditation.
My friends have gone off for one last drink and I've sneaked back to hotel to meditate! Oh how times have changed! But my 34 day commitment streak continues.
It's been an exciting, fun filled day with good friends.
And I meditated.
"It is only when the mind is open and receptive that learning and seeing and change can occur." John Kabat Zinn.
33 and 34/100 days of meditation
Can I award myself a medal? I meditated yesterday at the airport at 5am? I am flying to Berlin with my friends and took myself off to a corner and meditated before we set off.
I am yet to meditate today. I am staying with my friends and sharing a room and it's very noisy and wonderful but not much space to meditate.
Hopefully sneak off later.
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/meditation-can-help-find-perfect-friend/
32/100 days Meditated this evening. Busy morning. Very still this afternoon.
Maybe because it's so hot, my mind just lay there in its pants sweating.
https://positivepsychology.com/10-reasons-why-people-dont-meditate/
31/100 I managed to do an extra 10 minutes yesterday. This morning had quite a settled session. I've been travelling so am energised but my mind weirdly still.
I was driving through London yesterday and felt connected to the whole world. I felt very alive and happy.
I met some inspirational people who really walk the talk and feel very inspired. and a little bit proud of myself. I've committed and kept to my promises for 30 days and I'm doing it.
Hurray!
https://www.lionsroar.com/5-reasons-to-meditate-september-2013/#:~:text=Meditation%20teaches%20us%20how%20to,every%20moment%20of%20our%20life.
30/100 days of meditation Up early and friends burst into my room half way through the meditation with coffee. So today it I've done 20 minutes and will see what happens if I do 10 minutes later.
How to accept interruptions as part of the practice?
https://workingoncalm.com/effectively-deal-with-meditation-interruptions/
29/100 days of meditation. I'm on my travels driving down south and staying with friends.
I notice my social self just wants to be with my friends, not sat alone in my bedroom again.
The pull of people is powerful. b ut I stayed and I did it.
"If you cannot get along with yourself, you'll never be able to get along with other people." Joel Osteen.
28/100 I am not sure if I am supposed to do this (will ask my meditation teacher) but today when I found myself noticing and then being kidnapped by some pretty rough house thoughts, I decided to think about my son and how much I loved him. It's still a thought. But it helped me find my way back from the dark corners of my mind. I know I'm supposed to just focus on my breathing and notice my thoughts and a thought about my son is a thought. But to focus on love really helped today.
I realise the idea of meditation every day is not to make me feel good necessarily but just to master the art of noticing thoughts and letting them go and to understand 'I am not my thoughts'.
When I looked for a link or a thought to share at the end of today's meditation on love - I found all the articles on 'loving-kindness'.
I will ask my meditation teacher.
https://www.mindful.org/this-loving-kindness-meditation-is-a-radical-act-of-love/
26 and 27/100 days of meditation. I'm on the road now so couldn't connect with wifi yesterday but meditated before I got up yesterday.
Staying with friends today and managed to meditate before coming down to breakfast.
Connection is one of my highest values so I feel it's hard not to just bounce down to see everyone rather than sit in a room on my own meditating. But I did.
I wonder what it would be like to value connecting with myself as highly as connecting with others.
“Everyone has a little madness on the inside. The skill is in understanding the madness, and then being at ease with it.” Andy Puddicombe
25/100 days of meditation. Phew! Today my mind just chocca full of arrangements. My mind was like bossy fussypot - have you got your passport, remember to leave the keys under the plantpot, what about using that cover for that sofa? I think I managed about 5 minutes of focusing on my breathing today.
People talk about brain synapses being like motorways - mine feel like tiny higgedly piggy country roads that sometimes lead to a beautiful spot with a sea view and others to Tesco's carpark.
There are no road signs.
Here's a lovely post on this from Deepak Chopra about being lost in thought.
https://www.deepakchopra.com/articles/confused-in-meditation/
23/24 out of 100 days of meditation. I forgot to post yesterday but I did meditate.
I'm tired today. I have a busy week ahead. My apartment is quiet again after all my visitors last week. My head is not quiet though.
What really works is when I breathe and drop down into my body and notice how my body is feeling. That slows everything down.
Here's a good exercise to try.
How to Drop Into Your Body & Feelings
BY TSOKNYI RINPOCHE
Relax deeply. Don’t hold onto anything. Completely let go of thinking and judging mind while gently maintaining the clarity and knowing aspects of mind.
Now raise your arms to shoulder height, pause, and let them drop suddenly to your knees. As you drop your arms, breathe out forcefully. Then say, “Who cares? So what? Svaha!” (Svaha is a Sanskrit word used frequently in mantras that means “So be it.”)
Whatever happens, wherever you land after dropping your arms, just let it be. Don’t do or try to block anything. Just rest. There is no need to search for something new or try to achieve some special insight or state.
Feel whatever feelings and sensations arise and be lightly aware of them. Feel them naturally and softly, and don’t try to change anything. When uncomfortable feelings come up, you can relax and trust them, without analyzing or somehow figuring them out. Let them be as they are through feeling awareness while resting naturally in the body.
Here's the link:
https://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-drop-into-your-body-feelings/
22/100 days My friends have gone home now.
I notice how I put my meditation down the list when other people are around. I prioritise others and their needs. That's a familiar habit.
But I also notice how I love the company of friends and how it's so shiny and lovely to be in their company that I slack off my meditation practice if I get the chance and feel like a sulky teenager when I force myself to go through with my commitment.
And then I remember, I have to just notice the resistance and meditate anyway.
And I did.
So there.
😂
Your goal is not to battle with the mind, but to witness the mind.”– Swami Muktananda
21/100 days of meditation. Friends still here and was up early cooking breakfast before a grand day out. Have just meditated now at 10.30pm
Glad I managed to do it but it definitely felt like going through the motions. What's the point? I think.
Found this great post on that very feeling.
https://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/the-value-of-going-through-the-motions
20/100 days of meditation. I put my phone alarm on for my 30 minute meditation session today. 20 minutes in, my phone rang and it was my dear friend ringing from Denmark and I stopped meditating and took the call. (Note to self put airplane mode on)
But I couldn't resist it. It felt like an amplified example of what happens with my thoughts when I'm meditating.
They call to me and feel irresistible.
I want to be in the world, being with my friends, talking and laughing and not in the goldfish bowl of my head listening to my own thoughts going round and round.
I feel such resistance.
I know I need to just be with my resistance.
But I just want to be with my Danish friend laughing.
Here's a great article from Pema Chodron about being a flagpole versus the the flag.
"At Gampo Abbey, there are flagpoles on the cliffs above the ocean. We keep experimenting with putting flags out there, because that’s the point of flagpoles. Sometimes the weather is very calm, and we experience these lovely flags in the stillness of slight wind. Other times there are incredibly high winds, and the flags get shredded in a very short time. The image of the flagpole and the flag is a great one for working with thoughts and emotions, because the flagpole is steady and holds, and then the winds are whipping the flags all over the place, tearing them to shreds—that’s usually our predicament. We are the flags, and the wind is just whipping us around. We’re just whipped here and there and all over the place. And our emotions are escalating, our thoughts are all over the place. But using thoughts or emotions themselves as the object of meditation is experiencing life from the perspective of the flagpole. At Gampo Abbey, we never have to get new flagpoles. Even with hurricane-velocity winds, the flagpoles stay up on the cliffs.|
https://tricycle.org/magazine/meditating-emotions/
19/100 days
Was out late last night so feeling very tired and headachey this morning.
But sat in bed and meditated. Got a couple of moments of absolute stillness.
It was blissful.
I found this very old blog post about bliss and Pema and Dakinis.
Dakini? (I think of them as Buddhist angels - with attitude, which appeals to my inner Northern grit. Dakini can also be translated as SkyWalker)
https://klcreative.wordpress.com/2008/09/07/creative-letting-go-experiencing-dakini-bliss/
18/100 days of meditation. Up at 6am. Head full of practical arrangements this morning - how to get the bureau to the vintage shop, will I be able to get there on time to pick up Odie for dog sitting, did I book the table for Friday, should I drive or train to Edinburgh on Saturday?
I think I managed to catch my thoughts twice.
But a busy, bustling mind like a train station at rush hour.
I found this article today from Mark Van Buren about just letting the mind be.
"We can try letting our mind be—just leave it alone. Don’t react to it or engage with it. Think of the random wandering thoughts like a radio that was accidentally left on, creating a background noise—let’s just say for the sake of this analogy that it’s a boring, nonsensical talk show. Allow the thoughts to be there. We don’t have to try to turn them off, nor do we have to indulge in them; we can rather let it be in the background, allowing each thought to come and go. Eventually the mind will quiet down—or not—in its own time. Remember, the effort isn’t in trying to stop the mind but in paying attention in a receptive way to what’s actually happening. We aren’t trying to get rid of thinking, just learning to relate to it rather than live from it.
If one thought just will not stop arising, then simply label it. “Having a thought about work tomorrow.” “Thinking about the hurtful words my friend said to me the other day.” “Obsessing over something I can’t change.” “Ah yes, my mind is worrying about this.” By practicing with our thoughts in this way, our minds will naturally begin to open and slow down, leaving us with a spacious, receptive mind.
The bottom line is that we need to stop needlessly shaking up the jar. Put it down and allow the dirt to settle to the bottom, leaving the water clear and calm, as it once was.
Accept whatever the mind is doing, and let it settle on its own. "
https://tricycle.org/article/meditation-busy-mind/#:~:text=Allow%20the%20thoughts%20to%20be,not—in%20its%20own%20time.
17/100 days of meditation. Such a long day. Was up at 6am to meditate but then commuting into Newcastle for a freelance job and then with friends this evening. Meditation gives me more energy during the day but then I wear myself out by doing too much.
I have another packed day planned for tomorrow and will have to be up at 6am to fit the meditation in.
I didn't have time to write a note about my meditation session this morning. I am writing it now but I can't remember how it was this morning.
Here's an article about a study which shows why meditation gives us energy.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/319333
Day 16/100 days of meditation.
I have friends staying so felt the urge to go and see them and chat and talk before meditation.
Found it really difficult to settle afterwards.
I think the trick is to meditate really early, first thing before my mind can see all the glittering possibilities of the day.
My friends are here all week so will try getting up 6.30am tomorrow.
Here's an interesting article on meditating in the morning.
https://www.mindful.org/how-to-start-your-day-with-meditation/#:~:text=A%20Walking%20Meditation%20to%20Connect,your%20feet%20as%20you%20walk.
Day 15/100 day meditation challenge.
Much quieter in here today. Bright blue skies, soft breeze, gentle buffeting by a few random thoughts.
If I'm honest, it's felt like relentless rain for the last few weeks so today felt like walking out in a fresh vista after the storm.
Yes, I know. I'm not supposed to judge my sessions as good or bad. Just sit and be with whatever arises is the instruction.
But over the last 2 weeks, I definitely have been learning how to sit in the rain.
It was lovely to sit in the sunshine today.
"Whether we’re seeking inner peace or global peace or a combination of the two, the way to experience it is to build on the foundation of unconditional openness to all that arises. Peace isn’t an experience free of challenges, free of rough and smooth, it’s an experience that’s expansive enough to include all that arises without feeling threatened.” Pema Chodron.
Day 14/100 days of Meditation. Today I woke up late and was anxious to watch the World Cup football final! I just wanted to get my meditation over...
Like a chore to do, like another box to tick.
What's the point of this? I kept thinking.
I notice inane thoughts coming in and out.
A few real jabby worries.
Then I started to focus on my body and started to 'hear' my heartbeat. It's like I could feel my heart beat pumping through my body.
My shoulders relaxed, my jaw slackened.
It felt very peaceful and it felt like I had a place to rest.
Way back in my twenties I learned how to scuba dive on a press trip. When I was on the top of the water, trying to figure out how to release the air in my vest, water going up my nostrils I felt panicked and freaked out. But as I started to breathe deeply into the regulator and I got under the water and built confidence, I learned how to float quietly without frantically waving my hands.
That's what it felt like today.
When I was looking for some inspiration from Pema today - I found this article about creating a 'gap'.
"If you take some time to formally practice meditation, perhaps in the early morning, there is a lot of silence and space. Meditation practice itself is a way to create gaps. Every time you realize you are thinking and you let your thoughts go, you are creating a gap. Every time the breath goes out, you are creating a gap. You may not always experience it that way, but the basic meditation instruction is designed to be full of gaps. If you don’t fill up your practice time with your discursive mind, with your worrying and obsessing and all that kind of thing, you have time to experience the blessing of your surroundings. You can just sit there quietly. Then maybe silence will dawn on you, and the sacredness of the space will penetrate."
Here's the full article.
https://www.lionsroar.com/waking-up-to-your-world-pema-chodron/
Day 13/100 Felt achey with a sore throat this morning. But my thoughts were sluggish so it made it easier than the fast motorway today. I know I'm not supposed to judge but observe my meditation practice - 'yesterday was awful, today was good' but I fall into judging so easily. Which is missing the point.
I know it's about getting more accepting of that 'wild arc of our experience' and be able to stay and observe versus reacting (not just when we're meditating but in real life too)
Last night, I was stabbed by a big negative thought. It really got my attention. I managed not to run away from it or numb it. I just nodded in its direction, acknowledged with a blank stare in a rather cool Thomas Shelby moment. No drama. Maybe that's a bit of real life progress.
(Or is comparing my reaction to a 1930s Peaky Blinder gangster from Birmingham not the healthiest way to go? 😂 )
But hey, I know what I mean.
Another note from Pema today
"The mind is very wild. The human experience is full of unpredictability and paradox, joys and sorrows, successes and failures. We can’t escape any of these experiences in the vast terrain of our existence. It is part of what makes life grand—and it is also why our minds take us on such a crazy ride. If we can train ourselves through meditation to be more open and more accepting toward the wild arc of our experience, if we can lean into the difficulties of life and the ride of our minds, we can become more settled and relaxed amid whatever life brings us."
Day 12 of 100 day mediation. I woke up late this morning. It's been a busy week. I felt reluctant and very resistant to meditate. It felt like being at the side of the busy road with a million cars driving past really fast and trying to cross the road to get to the other side. There was no let up, no gap in the traffic. At one point, I realised my shoulders were up by my ears. I just kept breathing deeply. I could still feel the traffic blow my hair back. Or that's what it felt like.
Again, trying not to judge it.
Just to observe it.
I couldn't follow or make out any thoughts - just a cacophony, a blast of bad breath from a dragon's mouth.
Or something. 😂
'Drop the story, feel the feeling' says Pema.
https://tricycle.org/magazine/meditating-emotions/
Because that's really easy.
Not.
Day 11 of 100 days of meditation. I was up working late on a deadline last night. And also needed to send out my Substack writing hour reminder but ran of time and energy last night.
So I got up early and was on the computer first thing versus meditating and had a coffee.
So I was in full adrenalised/work mode when I eventually set the alarm for 30 minutes at 8am to meditate for half an hour.
I only peeked at the time, twice. I felt very energised this morning (probably the coffee. 😂)
I'm trying not to judge the sessions as good or bad - but rather just observe. But yesterday felt really rather dark and if I'm honest, I was dreading today's session.
My negative thoughts are highly skilled at kidnapping me.
I comfort myself by reminding myself about what I'm trying to do here every day.
I'm training the mind to wave at the kidnappers and let them do their thing over there versus getting in the van with them.
"You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather."
- Pema Chödrön
It feels difficult to remember this when there's thunder and lightning on the horizon but I am a Jedi in training.
Day 10 of 100 days of meditation. Phew. It was a very negative crowd inside my head this morning. Feels difficult to sit and 'observe' the wall of critics! Listening to sounds outside the window helped bring me back to the present and my breathing.
Here's a post on self-love https://candorschool.edu.in/radical-self-love-lessons-from-pema-chodron-the-wisdom-of-no-escape-how-to-love-yourself-and-your-world/
Day 9 of 100 days meditation: I had a 7am interview with an expert this morning because I was on a tight deadline for work so that meant I had to set my alarm for 6 to meditate. I thought I would be falling asleep but it was the least 'noisy' session so far. It's as if my thoughts hadn't woken up yet. I had the weird experience of hearing my heart beat in my ears, which felt slightly odd but I was definitely right here, right now.
Here's a great article about 5 reasons to meditate. https://www.lionsroar.com/5-reasons-to-meditate-september-2013/
Day 8 of 100 days of meditation.
It's Monday. Woke up early, meditated in bed. My mind was swinging through the trees of my thoughts and emotions without much let up. My window was open so beginning to be aware of sounds outside helped. It brought me back to my breathing.
I'm starting to be aware just how much time I don't spend in the present. I'm just not present in my life at all. My imagination is one of my greatest strengths but in terms of staying present in your life, phew! I'm so interested to see what happens when I train my mind to stay.
Here's Pema again on training your mind like a dog!
"In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel it's impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but also about what it is to be human. All of us derive security and comfort from the imaginary world of memories and fantasies and plans. We really don't want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. it goes against the grain to stay present. These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humour can give us the strength to settle down.
The pith instruction is, Stay...stay...just stay. Learning to stay with ourselves in meditation is like training a dog. If we train a dog by beating it, we'll end up with an obedient but very inflexible and rather terrified dog. The dog may obey when we say, "Stay!" "Come!" "Roll over!" and "Sit up!" but he will also be neurotic and confused. By contrast, training with kindness results in someone who is flexible and confident, who doesn't become upset when situations are unpredictable and insecure.
So whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to "stay" and settle down. are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Discursive mind? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay!. What's for lunch? Stay! What am I doing here? Stay! I can't stand this another minute! Stay! That is how we cultivate steadfastness. [...]
When our emotions intensify, what we usually feel is fear. This fear is always lurking in our lives. In sitting meditation we practice dropping whatever story we are telling ourselves and leaning into the emotions and the fear, Thus we train in opening the fearful heart to the restlessness of our own energy. We learn to abide with the experience of our emotional distress. [...]
Coming back to the present moment takes some effort, but the effort is very light. The instruction is to "touch and go." we touch thoughts by acknowledging them as thinking and then we let them go. It's a way of relaxing our struggle, like touching a bubble with a feather. It's a nonaggressive approach to being here.
--Pema Chodron, from 'The Places That Scare You"
Day 7 of 100 days of Meditation. I made the mistake of having a coffee and picking up my phone before meditating this morning and I found it very difficult to stay on track for 30 minutes once I started. I kept checking the time and feeling impatient. I could feel myself getting pulled and dragged by my thoughts to all the exciting and interesting things that are happening 'out there'.
I suppose that's the point and why I'm doing this - to build our muscles of attention and to notice when I get hooked and rather than dive down the same old rabbit holes, continue my bad habits, I stop the 'chain reaction'.
Our phones/life offers so much stimulation/shiny interest subjects and objects, that we either reject or grab hold of them.
Being able to observe without getting sucked into the vacuum is surely a wonderful skill to master.
Pema Chödrön calls it shenpa - the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. "We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked, we begin by recognising that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment. Sitting practice teaches us how to open and relax to whatever arises, without picking and choosing. It teaches us to experience the uneasiness and the urge fully, and to interrupt the momentum that usually follows. We do this by not following after the thoughts and learning to come back to the present moment. We learn to stay with the uneasiness, the tightening, the itch of shenpa. We train in sitting still with our desire to scratch. This is how we learn to stop the chain reaction of habitual patterns that otherwise will rule our lives. This is how we weaken the patterns that keep us hooked into discomfort that we mistake as comfort."
Day 6 of 100 days of meditation. I felt more resistance today to starting. 'It's Saturday', I thought, 'it's my day off.' It's interesting that I think of meditation as a chore/a thing on my to-do list.
But I did it anyway.
Today was a busy mind - cloudy with patches of blue sky and occasional bursts of sun.
"We do not meditate in order to be comfortable. In other words, we don’t meditate in order to always, all the time, feel good. I imagine shockwaves are passing through you as you read this, because so many people come to meditation to simply “feel better.” However, the purpose of meditation is not to feel bad, you’ll be glad to know. Rather, meditation gives us the opportunity to have an open, compassionate attentiveness to whatever is going on. The meditative space is like the big sky— spacious, vast enough to accommodate anything that arises.
In meditation, our thoughts and emotions can become like clouds that dwell and pass away. Good and comfortable, pleasing and difficult and painful—all of this comes and goes. So the essence of meditation is training in something that is quite radical and definitely not the habitual pattern of the species: and that is to stay with ourselves no matter what is happening, without putting labels of good and bad, right and wrong, pure and impure, on top of our experience." Pema Chodron.
Day 5 of 100 days of meditation. Tired today. It's Friday. Same experience of getting to around 23 minutes and desperate to finish but then stay for that extra 7 minutes and I settle. I hear Pete Cohen's words in my head: 'It's an act of courage'. I noticed the inner critic quite loudly today and I listen to a list of criticisms about my work, scathing judgements about myself. It's difficult not to get caught and go down the rabbit hole. It occurs to me that this is why I am so reluctant to meditate. Without the noise of the outside world, the noise of the inside world seems so much louder and when that noise is unpleasant, why would you choose to hang out here? The trick is, my meditation teaches says, is to let the thoughts come and let the thoughts go. The point of this daily practice is to make that easier. But I know from my journalistic training that the click bait of negative headlines gets more clicks than the positive ones. It's the same with the click bait of the negative thoughts in my brain. But I realise this meditation practice is not swopping the negative headlines for positive ones but rather just noticing and observing both and not being pulled down the fantasy of either. It's practicing not getting hooked by my nightmares or my big dreams.
"Sitting practice teaches us how to open and relax to whatever arises, without picking and choosing. It teaches us to experience the uneasiness and the urge fully, and to interrupt the momentum that usually follows. We do this by not following after the thoughts and learning to come back to the present moment," says Pema Chodron
Here's a great article about what Pema Chodron calls 'shenpa' or the urge, the hook, that triggers our habitual tendency to close down. We get hooked in that moment of tightening when we reach for relief. To get unhooked, we begin by recognizing that moment of unease and learn to relax in that moment.
https://www.lionsroar.com/how-we-get-hooked-shenpa-and-how-we-get-unhooked/
Day 4 of 100 days of Meditation: Again, it took me ages to settle. 23 minute mark, I am itching to get up. But then the last 5 minutes, I seem to be the most 'thoughtless'. I notice that I get a weird feeling in my stomach when I 'connect' with the Force.
Yesterday, I felt like I was 'on fire' creatively - I posted 2 Substacks! I remember this - I become ultra creative when I meditate. When I am creative, it makes me feel like I'm living the 'right life'. Creativity is one of my top values. When I live, embodying my values, I feel alive.
It's not too late to join the meditation 100 day challenge. The commitment is to meditate every day for 100 days. If you miss a day you go back to day 1. It's about creating a daily meditation habit. There are a million benefits to meditation. From health and mental health to finding the meaning of life, the only challenge is actually sitting down and doing it! So if you want a little space to share your journey and your ups and down, then join this thread. Here's an interview with my meditation teacher. https://heartleap.substack.com/p/i-meditated-for-100-days-straight
“Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ― Buddha
Day 3: done. Felt a little bit delicate and hormonal this morning. So stayed in bed but sitting up. It takes me ages to settle but then finally around the 25 minute mark - I can start to observe my thoughts rather than be battered by them.
And feel ready to face the day.
“Each morning, we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” ~ Buddha
Day 1 🌟 100 Days of Meditation practice
So let's be honest and track our progress here. You can also write any notes here.
I meditated in bed versus a chair at 7am for half an hour before coffee. Felt very sleepy. Think I might try a chair tomorrow. My thoughts feel like a crack team of SAS, you think all is calm and then they come in through the windows and grab you and I'm being kidnapped in the back of a van down dark alley before I can focus back on my breathing. 😂
I’m starting with you tomorrow too x x
Great to have you here. x
I love this, and I’m with you 🙏🏼
Glad you are with us.
Thank you so much for sharing this Suzy. I re-started my usual meditation practice today. Mine is only 10-mins (on Calm) so still at the newbie level, but I think if I can achieve the 100 days I can move up to meditating for longer. (I always enjoy that old joke “If you don’t have time to meditate for an hour every day, then you should meditate for two hours every day.”). I also used to listen to a lot of Tara Brach so I'm going to go back to that too, as I love how she talks about meditation practices with insight and humour.
I have started a thread if that helps you? 10 minutes is fantastic - it's consistency.
we are here if you want to join us?
https://heartleap.substack.com/p/100-days-of-meditation-start-here/comments
I’ve been thinking about getting back to meditation for a while but I’ll have to work up to 30 mins (not sure I’ll ever get there - I think 15 is my sweet spot). Downloaded an app this morning and the first meditation was 3 mins. Felt good though.
That's brilliant. I think whatever works for you so you can sustain it. Glad to have you here.
It will be interesting as I meditate in so many different ways but never just breathing which I am certain is the best way. I am with you.
Do what works for you. I'm not advocating a particular type of meditation (although I am happy to share the tips from my meditation teacher). So do what works for you or experiment. This thread is about committing to a regular practice. So glad you're here with us.