What is the greatest gift 2024 has given you?
“The thing about trains ... it doesn’t matter where they’re going. What matters is deciding to get on.” Conductor, The Polar Express
Christmas day can be a strange 24 hours if your Christmas isn’t the chocolate box version that we see dancing on our screens ad nauseum.
If you’re grieving or dealing with redundancy, looking after ailing relatives, sick children, heartbreak, Christmas can feel especially hard.
Grief—be it a person, a career, or a life that hasn’t quite worked out like you thought it would—can be the spectre at the feast of Christmas, which seems to insist on a forced positivity.
It can be exhausting.
Life can be really difficult and devastating at times, so it can be very hard to see any upside of anything so today’s prompt might really annoy you.
But today of all days I want to consider the thing called Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG).
PTG refers to the positive psychological changes that can emerge following a life-altering crisis or trauma. This concept doesn’t dismiss the profound distress trauma causes—be it a death, a loss, an injury, an illness but instead highlights how adversity may lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, relationships, and the world.
Identified in the 1990s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, PTG encompasses five key areas of personal transformation:
Recognising and embracing new opportunities.
Forging stronger relationships, including with others who’ve shared similar experiences.
Building inner strength by overcoming significant hardship.
Gaining a deeper appreciation for life.
Experiencing an evolving relationship with the universe.
Think of it as the unexpected silver lining of life’s toughest moments. Yes, trauma shakes our world, but sometimes it also shakes loose a few hidden opportunities, stronger relationships, inner grit, and maybe even a fresh perspective on life.
Basically, it’s life handing you lemons—and you turning them into a Michelin-starred lemon tart.
There’s no doubt that big life crises are like earthquakes for your beliefs. They crack open the way you see yourself, others, and the world. In the rubble, some people find the space to rebuild—better, stronger, and with an interesting view.
Can we cultivate growth?
Absolutely. But here’s the catch: it’s nearly impossible to grow while you’re in the middle of the storm. Once the skies clear, start reflecting. Has your mindset shifted? Do you value life differently? Are you rocking a newfound way of seeing the world?
What if you feel you’re just coping?
Coping is growth too. Surviving is the goal, and sometimes just making it through the day is the win.
Post-Traumatic Growth isn’t about denying the pain. It’s about discovering that, somehow, you’ve become a more resilient, open, and hopeful, more compassionate version of yourself—maybe even one who tells a better joke.
Whatever you’ve been through this year, today take a breath and focus on hope, the light, and love and slowly, slowly, focus on taking the baby steps on a road that leads to a new beginning.
It’s just one day. You’re not alone. Things can get better.
Just hang on.
Take a baby step.
And just be Ok with having an OK Christmas.
A lovely message to send on this or any day. Thanks & much festive joy 💓