"The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of love."

Photo by Kojirou Sasaki on Unsplash

At Heart Leap, I explore how to build a happy, creative, and simple life. At 9 a.m. on Tuesday and Thursday, I host ‘happy writing hours’ for paid subscribers. It’s for anyone who is trying to write a book, start a substack, or just have a little accountability for their writing practice. We chat for 5 minutes or so, and then we write quietly together for the rest of the hour. It’s strangely comforting and motivational to have a cohort of writers to support you and write alongside you. I also run monthly master classes on motivation and inspiration.

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7 years ago I had the privilege of interviewing

Cheryl Strayed

live on stage in London for The School of Life about her book Wild: A Journey From Lost to Found, about the time she took an 1100 mile hike across America facing grief, rattlesnakes and black bears, intense heat and record snowfalls, as well as the incredible beauty and intense loneliness of the trail.

It’s a beautiful book and I loved it but it’s another book that I wanted to share some wisdom from today: Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar

It’s a book of agony aunt columns which Cheryl wrote for the American magazine The Rumpus

It’s a book I go back to over and over again. When I can’t sleep, when I feel uncertain, when I need some reassurance. When I felt low last week, it was Tiny Beautiful Things I reached out to in the middle of the night (as well as for Bertie my mad cockerpoo!)

It’s Cheryl’s dedication to the truth that blows you away. There’s no flim flam, just unadulterated wisdom.

I find her take on love to be refreshing, uncompromising and raw.

It’s definitely not the Hallmark version of love.

Here are some quotes that I hope will light up your Valentine’s Day.

May we all be warriors for love!

1.     “The best thing you can possibly do with your life is to tackle the motherfucking shit out of love.”

2.     “Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It’s just there, and you have to survive it. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.”

3.     “Trust yourself. It’s Sugar’s golden rule. Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.”

4.     “You have to pay your own electric bill. You have to be kind. You have to give it all you got. You have to find people who love you truly and love them back with the same truth. But that’s all.”

5.     “You cannot convince people to love you. This is an absolute rule. No one will ever give you love because you want him or her to give it. Real love moves freely in both directions. Don’t waste your time on anything else.”

6.     “Most things will be okay eventually, but not everything will be. Sometimes you'll put up a good fight and lose. Sometimes you'll hold on really hard and realize there is no choice but to let go. Acceptance is a small, quiet room.”

7.     “You will learn a lot about yourself if you stretch in the direction of goodness, of bigness, of kindness, of forgiveness, of emotional bravery. Be a warrior for love.”