Love, actually
"Connection is why we’re here; it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives." Brené Brown
This is our last post of the month exploring the theme of 'enough.'
Throughout November, we've been on a journey of reflection, diving into what it means to fill up the life tanks of energy, time, money, and love.
So far, we've asked the big questions:
What is enough time, energy, and money?
How do we know when we have enough?
And where do we fall short?
This week, we’re focusing on love—the most vital and perhaps the most elusive of all our life tanks. Do you feel deeply connected to the people around you?
Do you experience moments of joy and support, knowing that you are loved for exactly who you are?
Or do you find yourself longing for more—more depth, more authenticity, more care?
Love and connection don’t always come easy. Many of us are conditioned to equate "enough love" with constant giving, self-sacrifice, or perfect relationships.
Some days, the weight of loneliness can feel overwhelming; on others, the sheer demands of relationships may leave us feeling suffocated.
So, how do we find our sweet spot? How do we define what’s “enough” for us—not based on societal norms or expectations, but on what truly fills our hearts and sustains us?
Here’s the truth: "enough" is deeply personal. For some, it's a small, tight-knit circle of loved ones. For others, it’s a bustling network of friends, colleagues, and family.
It’s not about numbers but the depth and authenticity of the bonds we share.
When we lack connection, we often feel unseen, unsupported, or even unloved. This might manifest as self-doubt, longing, or a sense of isolation. On the flip side, too much connection—when we’re giving more than we receive or constantly responding to the needs of others—can leave us feeling drained and resentful.
Finding balance is key.
But true connection isn’t about perfection; it’s about being real, messy, and magnificent all at once.
It’s also not all about romantic love. Having recently had my heart put through the wringer, starting a new life in Northumberland with a man and it not working out, having to sell the house and start again in a new town, knowing hardly anyone, I have been reassured that romantic love is only one version of love.
We can find love and connection everywhere.
I’ve met strangers in a bookshop and had profound conversations; I’ve joined film clubs and cried with someone I've met twice over a beautiful scene in a movie; I’ve started bookclubs and chatted about a book and life’s challenges with a bunch of people I had never met before; I started a story festival where my tribe came to me and made me happier than I had ever felt; I created an online community of writers (Heartleap) where I get to meet with a bunch of writers twice a week and quietly write together, and we share our lives as well as our writing. I have reached out to old friends and found new friends and even started dating a lovely new man and have discovered that it really is possible to start out from scratch in a new town and find your tribe—even when you’re heartbroken, adrift and lost.
I have gone from ‘not enough’ to ‘more than enough’ in the space of three years. So definitely not a quick fix but possible.
Here are some questions to explore the theme of “enough love’’ this month.
Do you have enough love and connection in your life?
Are you able to share your joys, fears, and challenges with someone who truly listens and understands you?
Do you feel seen and valued by the people closest to you?
Are there relationships in your life that feel nourishing, uplifting, and reciprocal?
Are you comfortable expressing vulnerability and receiving support from others?
How much is not enough?
Do you feel isolated, lonely, or disconnected, even when surrounded by others?
Are there moments when you hesitate to reach out because you believe you’re a burden?
Do you crave deeper connections but feel unsure of how to create them?
Have you noticed patterns of keeping people at a distance, either emotionally or physically?
How much is enough?
Do you feel a balance between giving and receiving love in your relationships?
Are your emotional needs largely met without constantly seeking external validation?
Can you spend time alone without feeling disconnected or unsupported?
Do you feel a sense of belonging—whether in family, friendships, or a community?
How much is too much?
Are you overwhelmed by the emotional demands of others, leaving little space for your own needs?
Do you feel suffocated or obligated to maintain constant communication with certain people?
Are you investing more energy in relationships than you have to give, leading to burnout or resentment?
Is your sense of self-worth overly tied to the approval or affection of others?
Love and connection are fluid—what feels like "enough" today might shift tomorrow. But by tuning in and asking the right questions, we can hopefully find a balance that nourishes us, body and soul.
It’s about being brave and looking for your tribe.
They are out there somewhere waiting for you.
(Emma Simpson, one of our Heartleaping writers, has just written a beautiful post on loneliness and flags up the difference between being alone and lonely. )
P.S To help us dig even deeper into the theme of enough, I’m hosting a live masterclass with Mandy Lehto, podcast host of Enough, who will share her wisdom on redefining success, joy, and what it truly means to feel "enough." Join us on Tuesday, November 26th, at 1 pm. Come and meet my beautiful Heart Leap community.