Money, love, and success won't make you happy in 2024—try this instead.

Read my interview with Gabby Bernstein, a New York best-selling author and one of Oprah's favourite experts, on how to create a happier year in 2024.

Credit: C Crespi

Last year, I had the privilege of interviewing Gabby Bernstein, New York Times bestselling author of Happy Days: The Guided Path from Trauma to Profound Freedom and Inner Peace for my column in Metro.

I asked Gabby how to create a happier vision for ourselves at the beginning of a new year.

Gabby is passionate about choosing the thoughts and perspective that make your heart leap.

‘In any given moment, we can choose the perspective that we want to have. So rather than beginning the year with the story of how bleak and awful everything is, we can choose optimism; we can choose hope,’ she told me.

Gabby walks the talk. After struggling with addictions in her twenties and becoming sober in 2003, Gabby has written nine number-one bestselling books, hosts a popular podcast, Dear Gabby, and was featured on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday as a next-generation thought leader. The New York Times describes her as a ‘role model for a new generation of spiritual seekers'.

Here’s an excerpt from the interview to inspire us at the beginning of 2024

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

How can we create an exciting vision for the new year?

Having a vision for a better life isn’t about a certain amount of money in the bank, a special love partner, or a credential. Focus instead on a vision for how you want to feel when you wake up each day. That is what you always have the power to change. Answer this question quickly in a journal: “How do I want to feel?” Don’t think; just let your pen flow, capturing all the feelings you want to experience. Just write. Let whatever comes to your mind move through you.

What if all you want is a new job or a new relationship?

Aim for a feeling, not an outcome like a job, a credential, or a title. Try not to let your vision be reliant on someone or something. For instance, you may feel tempted to hold a vision of a deep romantic partnership, thinking that that will make you feel complete. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting romance, that freedom in romance cannot come until you assume the feeling of freedom on your own. You may want that romance to feel safe, connected, or at ease. But safety, connection, and ease must come from you first. Committing to how you want to feel and accepting that it cannot come from an outside force is the secret to manifesting the great changes you are here to make. Give yourself permission to believe in a new vision of how you can feel, even if you can’t see how you’ll get there. Keep it simple. Just envision what it would be like to have the feelings you want. Write a vision statement.

A vision statement?

A vision statement can be something like, “I feel relaxed and easygoing. I feel safe in my body. I open my arms and fearlessly welcome whatever unfolds.” Or it might be as simple as, “I wake up without anxiety every day.” Holding the vision of how you want to feel will set you up to receive the exact guidance you need to get there. This vision opens you up to infinite possibilities for great change and growth. And because it’s based on a feeling rather than an outside source, it makes the possibilities for your life limitless.

What to do when you’re hijacked by negative thoughts

Answer the following questions in your journal:

• What am I feeling right now? Describe your feelings.

• What could be triggering this feeling? Describe the situation.

• What can I do instead?

List out healthy ways that you could respond to these feelings, such as calling a friend and venting, going for a walk, crying, writing about it in your journal, stretching your body, saying a prayer, sitting in meditation, or even scheduling an appointment with your therapist.

“The way to begin the process of undoing negative reactivity is to put something productive, spiritual, and grounding in place of your reactive response. Each time you do this, you will create a new neural pathway in your brain,” says Gabby

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This Heart Leap Substack is all about how to build a happy, creative, and simple life, exploring ways to ‘begin again’.

We look at ways to simplify our routines and processes, to build happiness habits into our daily lives, and to carve out time for our creativity so it’s not drowned out by the grind.

Join us for the Writing Hour

For anyone interested in building a creative life this year, I run the Heart Leap Writing Hour twice a week for those who want to commit to a writing practice, start or finish a book, start a substack, or simply set aside some time to journal. It's Tuesday and Thursday at 9 a.m. We are a friendly, kind group of writers who want a bit of company and accountability on our writing journey.

Come and join us if that makes your heart leap.

I also have some amazing speakers coming in to lead some masterclasses with us, from agents to best-selling authors, on the last Wednesday of the month at 1 p.m.

Here’s the Zoom link