"Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.”

“Clutter is not just physical stuff. It’s old ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Clutter is anything that does not support your better self.” – Eleanor Brownn

Today, let’s look at relationship clutter.

Instead of pointing our finger at other people, let’s look at the relationship dynamics we create.

When we’re kids, we can’t do much about relationship dynamics - we just learn them from the adults around us. And if the adults around us are behaving in destructive or unloving ways. It’s really tough.

But as adults, we can work on our self awareness and we can choose to turn our faces towards the light and learn about toxic habits and dynamics and relationships and find new healthier ways to interact.

For example:

To stop just reacting and sulking or running away or shouting when we’re triggered.

To stop closing down.

To stop blaming other people.

To stop people pleasing.

To stop trying to control others or situations.

To stop tolerating.

And instead to start looking at the way we are behaving and reacting.

To start listening.

To start taking ownership of what’s ours and what’s not.

To start valuing ourselves.

To start asking for what we want.

To start championing ourselves.

To start being brave.

To start saying no to other people and yes to ourselves.

To start trusting.

It’s really not easy and it makes you feel horribly vulnerable to challenge old dynamics and old beliefs.

But it’s part of the decluttering process too.

Journal Prompt: What old relationship dynamic can you let go of today?

It’s Day 19 of our decluttering challenge and if you’re struggling to get rid of real life objects - write down some small emotional habits that you can work on letting go of.

my emotional clutter