Can you choose to be joyful?

"The greater your pain, the more necessary it is for you to find your way to emotions such as joy, hope and love," says Dr Tanmeet Sethi

If you're feeling a little low today, read this inspiring story about finding joy despite facing the absolute worst circumstances. I interviewed Tanmeet Sethi, author of a new bestselling book, Joy is My Justice: Reclaim What is Yours, for my Big Happiness interview that’s out in Metro.co.uk this week. You can read it here. (Thank you to Adela Husain for the introduction)

At just three years old, Dr Tanmeet Sethi’s son, Zubin, was diagnosed with duchenne muscular dystrophy (DMD), a progressive, muscle wasting disease that will eventually kill him.

At the time of hearing this catastrophic news, she was also nine months pregnant, and had a one-and-a-half-year-old to look after.

Yet, despite suffering every parent’s worst nightmare, Tanmeet has decided to dedicate her life and career to exploring an unexpected topic: joy.

‘Every footstep you take toward joy is a radical act that defies the oppressive weight of your pain, and creates a powerful change in your biochemistry,’ says Tanmeet, who’s an an integrative family medicine doctor and clinical associate professor at the University of Washington School of Medicine.

‘Joy is an innate human right accessible to all.’

Read the whole interview here.

Life can be difficult, is trying to be joyful setting yourself up for failure?

Tanmeet: The greater your pain, the more necessary it is for you to find your way to emotions such as joy, hope and love. Each time you connect to the universal energy of joy, you create a deeper sense of belonging and connection to this world. Joy is your defiant battle cry.

What advice do you have to face difficult challenges in your life?

Tanmeet: You need to change the story from, ‘Why me?’ to ‘Why not me?’ If you love, if you live, you will hurt. Many wisdom traditions teach this simple premise.

In a timeless Buddhist story, a woman stricken with grief over the death of her first-born child searches for someone who can bring her child back to life. She is taken to the Buddha who says he can help her if she brings him mustard seeds from a home where they have not experienced loss through death. She is unable to find such a home and returns humbled.

As the Buddha explains, if you expect only happiness, you will be disappointed. Each time you change the ‘Why me?’ story, to ‘Why not me?’, you soften resistance to the life in front of you.

It can work the other way too. If you are someone who has resisted joy for far too long and believe either you don’t deserve it, or you feel guilty experiencing moments of joy when others do not, it is also time to say out loud ‘Why not me?’ You can feel joy too. Claim it!

Joy is My Justice: Reclaim What is Yours is out now