1st November: begin again.
This month, it's about all about nesting, nurturing and no-ing
It’s the first of the month—a great chance to take a breath and press the reset button.
This Heart Leap Substack is all about how to build a happy, creative, and simple life and on the first of the month, we explore ways to ‘begin again’.
We look at ways to simplify our routines and processes, ways to build happiness habits into our daily lives, and ways to carve out time for our creativity so it’s not drowned out by the grind.
It feels a bit weird to write about nurturing ourselves when the world is in its current state.
But I’m a firm believer in the idea that the more we look after ourselves and our inner world, the more useful and resourceful we can be in the outer world.
If we can operate from a state of calm, generosity, and kindness, our world will be a better place, not just for us but for everyone.
If we can join together and create communities committed to healing and growth, kindness, and encouragement, then life becomes easier for us all.
When we look after ourselves, we can look after others.
If we can tend to our own inner traumas and wounds and find a way to grow rather than shrink, we are no longer victims but empowered.
We can lead in our own communities and find ways to be kind, solution-focused and imaginative, versus following leaders who preach hate and don’t reflect our values.
Rest, recover, restore
So this month, let’s start again in our own lives and gently find ways we can rest, recover, and restore ourselves.
How? It make take some ‘no-ing’.
What can you say no to?
How can you create some space in November to figure out what fills your cup so your energy can overflow and you can give to others without it draining you?
In the Heart Leap community, we are currently on Week 6 of the Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron’s inspiring tome on how to superboost your creativity.
She recommends two tools:
1. The Artist’s Date: two hours a week spent on your own doing something inspiring. (Think of it like a date with yourself.)
The Morning Pages: three pages of journaling every morning when you first wake up to ask yourself, "How are you? What’s working and what’s not?”
The idea is to get to know yourself: what do you like, what uplifts you on a daily basis, what and who drains you, and what fills that cup?
No one ever sees these journal entries, so you get to be brutally honest.
I have a theory that we sabotage our self-care because we are trying to push down or run away from emotions or thoughts that we don’t want to feel or think about.
The perceived wisdom is that the only way out is through.
It’s being able to get honest with yourself about how you feel and rather than push away the feeling or thought: ‘I don’t like this job anymore, but I don’t feel confident to make another move.’ ‘x/y/z is draining my life blood, but I don’t know what to do.’ ‘I just feel exhausted all the time but I don’t know how to change it.’
It takes courage to be honest, because once the truth is out on to the page, you may be tempted to make some changes.
In the short term, it is easier to stuff down your feelings with food and drink or get so busy you haven’t got time to do anything but lay on the sofa unless the slightest jolt shatters you into tiny, brittle pieces.
But here at Heart Leap HQ, we’re trying to build a life on solid foundations.
And that begins with being honest with yourself.
Let’s be gentle, not brutal.
Why do you sabotage yourself?
On Monday, we talked to Eve Menenzes Cunningham in a masterclass about self-care. We pondered self-sabotage and despite knowing the ‘right’ thing to do to make ourselves feel supported, energetic, and happy, we often do the opposite.
I’m sure we’ve all set intentions not to reach for the wine, cake, or remote control forever (and there’s nothing wrong with those things per se), but when they become a method to stay stuck, to hide, to numb your feelings, then perhaps it’s time to have a gentle look at what’s going on.
Eve’s philosophy is about ‘creating a life you don’t need to retreat from’.
Isn’t that a glorious idea? And surely the ultimate goal?
Over the month of November, I will send you journal prompts and questions to invite you to explore what’s at the root of reaching for things that you think will make you feel better but don’t.
And discover the things, ideas, thoughts people that nurture you on a daily basis.
Awareness is the first step.
The first questions to start us off today are:
Name three times you felt calm and at peace in the last six months.
And what did those times have in common? (E.g., When did you feel safe, supported, encouraged, inspired?)
Name three times you felt frazzled and stressed in the last few months.
And what did those times have in common? (e.g., you felt judged, drained and bored.)
What’s one thing (it can be tiny) you can do differently this week to create more calm and peace in your life?
Photo by Autumn Mott Rodeheaver on Unsplash
Great!!! Let's create as much joy as we can.
I love the thought of keeping our lives in a state of peace, so that we don't need to retreat from them. Beautiful reframe! My last post was also about how we must care for ourselves first too, in order to then show up for the world. It's so hard to remember sometimes, but important to resource ourselves.